Letters to Myself

Note to self: Everyone Cries

October 23, 2005 (Age 14)

So this is it. This is what it feels like to start something from the beginning without help or pre meditation or friends or worries.

This is what it feels like to be obscure in this world of communication and the internet.

This is the mark of something so insignificant but it feels like a bit of an accomplishment; Me..without the ego tripps and the innocent by-standers who whine about their life but dont care about anything else but to feel pain. This is what it feels like…

To be alone.

I declare this day

history.

March 5, 2011 (Age 20)

Dear self,

You’re 14 and your vocabulary is terrible, but it will get better…I think. People will always use their pain as a testament of their existence and significance— learn to embrace those people and encourage them to grow by expressing their pain to you. The best way to learn is to teach.

You’ll grow out of loneliness by accepting that it is not a punishment. Loneliness is just the result of fear and fear is fighting for its life in your little brain. Tell it to shut the fuck up and start being productive.

Sincerely,

Nichole

PS- Don’t throw away your journals :(